it’s been a minute

man… i was wary that i would ever write in a blog again… at least that was how i felt when i decided to take a break from it. there was so much anger that i was not letting myself feel that i felt like a madwoman. well, i am doing better now. i still cry when i see pictures of my cousin or i start to think about him, but i put his eulogy on my altar next to my grandpa and he is now one of the ancestors.

let’s see… i have joined a couple of forums and re-visited some old ones while i have been away. i have been attempting to reconnect with the comfort of known friends and situations, but it hasn’t worked out so well. the past is the past and is best lived in the memory. i also haven’t sewn in a while. i took up my crochet and knitting more, although knitting makes me want to hurt someone sometimes! i just can’t get the swing of it, but i will keep trying. i’ve been on myspace a little more and i am feeling discontentment with that. it is kinda crazy concept if you think about it. it is a virtual world where nothing is what it seems to be. and we are already living that in this reality anyways so… what the heck? euro-centric science and technology just seems to want to mimic what the creator has already done and call it their own and say they developed it. cloned animals, virtual environments, patent of genes… if you think about everything too hard, your head will explode.

on a lighter note, i found a couple of cool patterns/directions online in the past couple of days:

reconstructive shirt surgery – (this one actually comes out like it looks with little effort) http://muppinstuff.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/11/tshirt_renovati.html

wardrobe refashion – (opportunity to take a consumer-conscious pledge… i am still mulling it over … i am such a joiner, hardly ever a finisher… i really don’t like that about me)
http://wardroberefashion.blogspot.com/

an amigurumi doll pattern crochet – (i haven’t tried this one yet, but i will soon for the granbaybee )
http://stitch.hellooperator.net/amigurumi-doll/

oh and i have a gripe. why are men so shitty these days? i don’t understand it. is it because i am getting older and showing it and before when they were being nice it WAS like Chris Rock said “to a man, a woman friend is just a future f***?” and why are men who are supposed to be conscious or striving to some type of spiritual betterment just as shallow as the rest of them or worse? is it just another addition to the pimp game? i am bitter. i just wish it wasn’t like this. i am just craving something true, i guess.

hmmm… okay, i think i am done for now.

long live truth, fairness and free-domes ♥