thanksgiving

[i am somewhat buzzed at the moment ]

i really had to take time and slow down. i was not allowing myself to be sad, mad or whatever. trying to breeze through it. trying to find a shortcut to happy feelings. but in the time i took to be with myself, i remembered that i am not really a happy esctatic type person. in the attempt to run from “emotion”, i confused my natural state of being with “depression”. i found myself caught up in trying to stay “up” when “up” is not someplace where i have ever naturally been. so i allowed myself to be depressed and this was what was needed for this moment.

i’ve been doing some quilting when i can get my procrastinating ass of the couch   i am working on a star quilt and am finally finishing up my grandaughter’s quilt so she can take it back with her.  i have the top done, i am just inching along with the actual quilting part.  i hate taking the time to keep adjusting everything so it is lined up nicely, and i hate it not coming out perfect the first time i quilt an area.  hmmm…  those two sentiments don’t actually go together.  maybe this is why i procrastinate???

my granddaughter has been here visiting for the past several days from Cali with her mother and that has been really cool. she has such a strong personality. she is very much aware of what she likes and wants. it’s been nice to witness this.

in giving myself a mini pedicure, i realized that my toesnail have developed lil ridges and that this may be a sign of iron deficiency, anemia. i have been anemic in the past and this may partly explain my lack of energy lately. this poem may sum up an additional explanation.
i stumbled accross this forum (actually while looking for a natural solution to my anemic issue) yesterday, which led me to this website, which led me this blog with the aforementioned poem.  i have been interested in this spiritual order since i was 10 or 11 and i am pretty happy to get the chance to read these folks commentaries.  they appear to be very truthful in what they are writing.  i really appreciate truth.

well, i hope everyone has a meaningful day today.  i hope everyone looks truthfully at what this holiday signifies and remembers all those who have gone before us…  their lives, their struggles, their ideas…  without whom our lives would not be possible.