started work

okay, i started work this week. hmmmm… i wasn’t intending too, but it happened. everything has just been happening in a crazy way. i started work for *one* of my old jobs, supposedly as a scan clerk (changing prices). it’s a pretty cool job… but… my sis didn’t tell me that it was for a *back up* scan (*back up* being the key words). there are already 3 people in scan, which is all that is required… so i was hired as back up and back up CHECKER! aaaaaaaaahhhh (cue the rghhh rghhh-knife music… like on the movie *Pyscho*) so i am now checking at a major grocery store. checking groceries is not my thang. it is horrible as a matter of fact. my back is locked up… my knees won’t straighten out… my already flat feet feel concave… and folks are a pain in de ass! i’ve been in the service industry/casino for 10 years and i am burnt (out) to a crisp. so i have been fighting the urge to *off myself* daily. i wake up to find my eyes all swollen from crying in my sleep. my previous job in a casino really gave me PTSD. and i feel trapped, since my sister is in management with the same company and i dont want to make her look bad, since i am working for her same director. sigh…

… but what saved me today was i brought my knitting to work with me and at lunchtime i knitted so furiously i could’ve burnt the yarn with the sparks! i knitted for a half hour straight and it is the only that calmed me down after dealing with peeps for 4 hours straight. thank goodness for the healing from *craftwork*… oh and i can’t remember if i posted it, but i learned how to knit (finally!) from that book i bought at Savers! yay-yeah! so i am knitting a scarf for my son who says i never make anything for him and i am in the process of knitting some socks. i want to learn how to knit two socks at the same time on circular needles but that seems a little out of my league.

i feel my cousin at different times during the day.

when i hear a dual exhaust chevy truck… today someone in the line next to me told their child, *ask your Uncle Red* just as i was thinking about him… when i was sitting outside for lunch, i was looking at his picture and it still boggles my mind that i can’t just call him up, that i just cant pop up at his job… man…